The instant I looked down at my phone I knew something was wrong.  I had missed 4 phone calls and 3 text messages, all in a very short window of time. Josiah’s teacher was trying to reach me.  So was my husband.  The voice message said, “We are having a few problems with Josiah today.”

I barely heard that. Instead I heard the frantic screams of my now teenage son, echoing in the background through the phone. In moments like that, my world stops. Almost immediately my eyes welled up with tears.

My first call was to my husband, who was at work. He had already been made aware of the situation and was asked to pick Josiah up from school. By the time he arrived, there were 10 adults in the classroom.

Josiah had been uncooperative for part of the day, scratching, pulling hair, turning over desks and tables, throwing chairs in the classroom and screaming. Not typical behavior for a 7th grader.  Not typical behavior for Josiah either. For the most part, his Intermediate School experience this past year and a half has been rather uneventful in terms of inappropriate behavior. Not so much lately.

He seems to cycle between weeks of peaceful co-existence with the others in his life to a few days or a week of total chaos, every few months. During the out of control days, we struggle to understand it all.  We question everything.  We closely examine any and all potential ‘triggers’.

Maybe he’s tired.  (HA)  This is the boy who for years never needed much sleep. Could he be sick?  Maybe he has a headache or sore throat or stomach ache. Maybe he’s constipated or hungry or thirsty. Does he need to jump? Does he need deep pressure?  Does he need time alone? Was there a Koosh ball anywhere near him?  Josiah used to be terrified of Koosh balls.

And on it goes until ultimately Josiah comes out of whatever state he was in that was rocking everyone’s world and settles down again. Truly, it’s like flipping a light switch.  One minute he’s calm and cooperative.  The next he’s wreaking havoc on his teachers, classmates and us. A few days later, he calms down again.

Thankfully, the rough days aren’t as common as the good days. Many times we see our sweet Josiah shining through, smiling and happy and we know ‘he’s back’.  We know we can coast easy for a bit. The challenge is in trying to figure it all out to hopefully prevent another storm.  If only he could tell us. If only he could explain what it is that ticks him off so much.  If only he had words to express his frustration.