He let me stay. For nearly an hour I laid right beside Josiah on his hospital bed and we played with a string of bright, shiny, purple beads. I could hardly believe it myself, but here’s proof.

I held them high above his head for a while to give Josiah’s arm a break; my way of ensuring he wouldn’t push me out. I was well aware, those Mardi Gras beads were the priority in this scenario, not me. I just used them to my advantage. When I got tired, rather than taking the beads back, Josiah reached over and held my arm up.

I’m here to tell you guys, your prayers are working. Last week at this time, there is absolutely, positively no way Josiah would have let me get this close or even stay in his room for as long as I did Monday night. He was far more interested in pushing me away, punching himself in the head and slamming doors at that point.

The day after these pictures were taken, Josiah’s amazing caregiver, Ashley came to visit Josiah. He hadn’t seen her in a very long time.  Secretly, a tiny part of me was hoping he would push her away.  It’s not that I want my son rejecting people. It’s just that I don’t want to be the only one he rejects.  I rationalized the only reason he pushed me away last week was because he felt abandoned by me.  He was expressing his anger and frustration at being left in a hospital with a completely changed life and minimal understanding of what it all meant. Following that line of thinking, Ashley abandoned him as well.  He should reject her too.

He didn’t.  A larger part of me was quite happy he didn’t.  He was happy to see his long lost friend and hugged her repeatedly.  It was so sweet and reassuring to see glimpses of our ‘old’ Josiah. This is the kid we know, the one who is affectionate and loving.  The one who likes to snuggle and hug on you.

Yesterday, he pulled me into the bed with him. Every single time I got up, he pulled me back.  At one point, I had an important phone call I had to take.  I stood up to grab a pen and some paper to take notes.  Josiah jumped up, grabbed my arm and pulled me over to be close to him again.  What a difference in this boy.

Thanks to all of you for your continued, steadfast prayers, Josiah is slowly coming around. He’s still spending an awful lot of time sitting on his bed in his room when he really should be outside, playing on the playground or down the hall in the activity room with the other kids. But I’m not complaining.  This is a huge step forward and one I am extremely grateful for. This is confirmation prayer makes all the difference in the world.

I don’t know how much longer Josiah will be in the hospital.  We need to consult with his psychiatrist to get his input. I’m hoping and praying we are nearing the end of this long journey. To have Josiah back home again soon would be fabulous. We are realistic though.  We know having him home will change things. One of us will need to be with him at all times, giving him the one-on-one attention he requires and now has become even more accustomed to. We will have less and less time for ourselves as we tag team through each day, juggling Josiah’s needs.

No worries. We will do whatever it takes to help our son. That’s just what parents do. We are happy to do it. We still have a little time though.

Rick and I are leaving for Bora Bora in the morning.