The last few weeks of summer and the first 3 days of the new school year were very difficult.  Josiah didn’t sleep much.  Most nights he averaged 3.5 to 4 hours of sleep at best. We had to take turns staying up with him, or trying to get him back to sleep.  After a few weeks, we called his psychiatrist to ask for something to help Josiah sleep. It didn’t work like we had hoped.

Over the years we have tried just about everything we could think of to help Josiah sleep.  I’ve even offered suggestions to other parents who faced similar sleep related issues.  Sometimes we’d have periods of time in which Josiah would sleep well.  Just a couple of months ago, I remember him taking my hand at 7:30 in the evening to walk me into his room.  He crawled up in his bed, scooted down under his ‘Skweezers’ and fell fast asleep. He slept til 8:30 or 9 the next morning. This lasted for weeks. Perhaps I was over confident during those days and felt I had answers to offer others.  I was wrong.  Dead wrong.

One week after starting the new medication to help Josiah sleep, we met with his psychiatrist. I told him Josiah’s behavior was concerning.  He was becoming increasingly aggressive, self-injurious and destructive. I asked if we could put him on something to help calm him.

Years ago I thought medication of any kind to subdue a child was not best.  Now, I think nothing of saying, he won’t sleep, what can we give him?  He’s becoming a danger to himself and others, what can we give him?  It’s heart breaking to watch your child suffer.  It’s so difficult to see him out of control and desperately needing help.  I don’t have the answers.  I just want someone who does to FIX him.

The psychiatrist didn’t want to add another medication to calm Josiah after just adding one to help him sleep.  A week later, life spiraled out of control.  We started getting ‘reports’ from day hab where Josiah spent a couple hours a day, a few days a week during the summer.  Josiah was trying to throw the microwave.  Josiah was tipping tables and chairs.  Josiah was scratching himself and others.  Josiah tried biting someone.  Please come get Josiah.

Then school started.  The very first day, a behavior specialist was in his classroom observing him.  We heard similar reports of aggression towards himself and others.  By the 3rd day of school, it was so bad, we had to seek help.  Josiah’a amazing caregiver and I took him to the E.R. because the poor boy looked as if he had been in the boxing ring and lost.  He had long red scratches all over his neck, arms and torso.  He was bruised and swollen on his face and ears. We had to protect him from himself.  We had to protect ourselves from him. It broke my heart.

At the E.R. we waited for a very long time in the waiting room.  Josiah sat in a wheel chair and alternated from siting passively and calm to violently, without warning lashing out.  At one point, he jumped up out of the chair, raced across the room and tried to pull the flat screen T.V. off the wall. Moments later, he’d be calm again.

At this point Josiah had been awake for over 20 hours.  He had a oral sedative at home (prescribed by an urgicare physician we saw earlier in the day, thinking the E.R. would not be necessary).  The sedative didn’t work.  Josiah got a second sedative, injected in his leg at the E.R.  Both sedatives should have affected him quickly.  Neither did.  The oral one was given at 8:30 pm. The injection was given at 1:30 am.  Josiah didn’t fall asleep until 4:30 am, after having been awake and hyper for over 25 hours.

I sure wish I could wrap this up with a cute little picture and a funny sentence or two about how well things turned out the next day.  I can’t.  This story hasn’t ended yet.  Josiah was sent home at 6:30 am.  He became violent and aggressive again later that same day, as I knew he would once the sedatives wore off.

What do you do when life takes a drastically sharp turn and you find yourself in a situation where you are struggling to find answers?  How do you help someone you love so desperately when you don’t have a clue where to even begin?

I’m here to tell you, you pray.  You pray and you pray and you pray and you ask all you close friends and family to pray too.  Then you call every single person you can think of to ask for help.

And you wait.