I know God does not give us more than we can handle. Sometimes I think He definitely overestimates me. Recently Josiah’s behavior has become very challenging. Since Friday he has decided to scream more often than not. He got off the bus that day and refused to walk. He screamed from the time the bus pulled away until much later in the day. Friday was a half day of school. I listened to Josiah scream for hours.

I can only compare this new behavior to that of a colicky baby. I’m really not sure what is causing Josiah to scream. I’ve tried just about everything to help him. Nothing seems to work. He screamed most of the morning and early afternoon on Saturday. He screamed Monday when he got off the bus and for a couple of hours after that.

Infact, when the bus pulled up Monday, I decided Josiah was going to have to walk into the house and pull his backpack with no help from me. It is what he had been doing everyday anyway. It’s only recently he’s been refusing to do what has been done habitually for weeks.

Josiah threw himself to the ground as soon the bus pulled away. He began to scream. I said, “Come on buddy. Let’s go in the house.” I started walking, sure he would follow me. He didn’t. I walked part way up the sidewalk and noticed him glance up to see where I was. He didn’t budge. Eventually I walked all the way up the walk and into the house. I stood in the foyer with the front door open, just waiting and watching. Josiah screamed so loudly you would have thought he was in severe pain. I actually video taped the entire event, hoping to be able to watch it later for clues as to why he was screaming. After 10 minutes, I stopped taping. Josiah was still not in the house as that point.

He had made his way up to the front porch though, all on his own, wailing and moaning the entire time. He sprawled himself out on the ground. I finally gently pulled his little body into the house so I could close the door behind him. By this time I knew he was hot. He laid on the cold tile floor for another 5 or 10 minutes. Still screaming!

I know with typically developing children ignoring negative behavior and rewarding positive behavior usually brings about the best results. Doesn’t seem to be impacting Josiah any. When he did calm down for a brief second, I quickly commented, “Great job Josiah. Nice quiet voice.” Immediately, he started to scream again. It happened every time.

The next day, I was prepared. I knew neither Josiah nor I wanted to repeat the scenario from the day before. So, I armed myself with supplies. I grabbed a cold bottle of water. I grabbed one of his favorite snacks, an Oreo cakester. I grabbed a lanyard with Josiah’s picture schedule hanging on a ring and threw it around my neck.

The plan was to greet Josiah with a joyful smile, offer him a drink of water. Often times Josiah is very thirsty when he gets home from school. I would show him the first picture on his schedule which is to put his backpack away. Then, every so often, I would reward him for his appropriate behavior, i.e., walking in the house, with a small bite of cookie.

As soon as the bus door opened, Josiah began to scream. The aide on the bus was telling me what a great job Josiah had been doing on the bus. She unbuckled his seat belt. The boy literally began to cling to her and climb her like a tree. I had to walk up onto the bus to peel my son from this woman. He clearly wanted nothing to do with me.

Once we were off the bus, Josiah slid from my arms onto the side walk, still screaming. I smiled sweetly and offered him a drink of water. Josiah pushed the bottle from my hand. I showed him the first picture card in his schedule, a picture of a backpack and said, “Backpack away.” He screamed louder. I showed him the second card and said, “Backpack away, then eat.” I showed him the Oreo cakester. He grabbed it from my hand, crumbled it to bits and threw it on the ground. Keep in mind he was screaming this entire time. I was out of tricks.

I scooped Josiah up to a standing position, not an easy task with a strong, flailing body; grabbed his backpack and stood directly behind him. The momentum of my body propelled his forward. Very awkwardly, we made it into the house. Josiah was screaming, I was panting. He threw himself on the ground in the hallway and wailed.

I scooped him up again, walked/pushed him towards the closet and had him put his backpack away. I showed him the next card and told him to go to the table. He didn’t. I assisted him to the table where he sat for a very long time and screamed.

I really wish I knew what was triggering this behavior. I really wish I knew what I could do to help my son. I really wish he would just stop screaming. Since Friday, Josiah has been to the pediatrician. He’s fine. He’s been to get new orthotics. I thought maybe his current ones were too small and causing him discomfort when he walked. I’ve checked his body head to toe, looking for sores or bruises or anything that might be causing him pain. Nothing.

I checked his backpack yesterday. The note in his folder said Josiah had a great day and was happy. Are you kidding me? How can the boy go from great and happy at school to grumpy and frustrated and screaming at home?

I called Josiah’s teacher last night. She is a remarkable woman who cares deeply for the children in her class. Josiah adores her. She is able to get him to do things for her he would never do for me. She’s concerned about Josiah and this recent behavior. She is willing to come by the house when the bus pulls up to observe him and to offer helpful hints/advice on how to best get him off the bus and into the house without so much conflict.

She joked that her daughter is heading off to college in the fall. She said if we build an extra room on the house, she will move in. I’m heading to Home Depot in a little bit. I will buy nails and some wood.

I’ll build the room myself. Today!