Yesterday was rough for Josiah. He screamed off and on for almost 2 hours. This time it had nothing to do with the bus. Yesterday was Sunday. He was home with us, just hanging out. For most of the day he was perfectly fine. He was smiling. He was content. He was well behaved. Then, out of no where, he started to scream. Each time he screamed, he reached up with both of his hands, grabbed fist fulls of his own hair and pulled. He yanked hard.

He did this repeatedly. Sometimes, after he was finished screaming and pulling, he’d smile or even giggle and go back to just relaxing. During these screaming episodes, he climbed up on my lap. I held him close. I know he needed me to comfort him. I had no idea what was bothering him.

I tried to talk to him about it. I figured since he was inflicting pain on himself, there must have been something else hurting him. I asked him if his tummy hurt. I rubbed it for him. He still screamed. I asked him if his head hurt. He continued to scream and yank at his hair. I was really surprised he didn’t pull any of it out.

I rubbed his head with lots of deep pressure. That seemed to help somewhat. Then, he’d start to scream again, pull away from me and rip at his hair. I figured maybe he had a headache. I have never known Josiah to have a headache. But since he is non-verbal, he very well could have had them before and we just never knew. His sister gets migraines and she is just a year older than he is. So, it’s quite possible.

Rick mixed up Tylenol in some ice cream. Josiah does not take medicine well, but he takes ice cream just fine. He gobbled it up. Before long the screaming and hair pulling stopped.

It was a beautiful day and the local YMCA was open. We loaded up the van and headed there for a couple of hours of fun in the sun. Josiah loves being in water. Yesterday was no different. Initially, he wasn’t thrilled about getting in the pool. The water was a little chilly. But once we got him in, he was so happy.

He jumped and splashed and kicked. He smiled so much it did my heart good. At one point Rick hugged him from behind. They both had huge grins on their faces. I took a mental snap shot of that moment. It almost brought tears to my eyes. It means so much to me to see Josiah having fun.

A few minutes later, Josiah started to scream again. He grabbed at his hair, pulled hard and screamed. He was in the exact spot he had been in moments earlier when he was just squealing with joy. He screamed a few different times while at the pool. The screams were a little less intense though. They were each followed by more smile and squeals.

I wish I knew for sure what was troubling Josiah. I wish I could fix it. He has always had a very high tolerance for pain. If that still holds true, than what is causing him to scream? Today I scheduled an appointment for him to see his pediatrician. I think he needs a CAT Scan or an MRI. We need to find out if there is something internally causing him discomfort. We need to fix it so he doesn’t have to scream any more.

Until we know for sure, all we can do is pray. Fortunately, there has been no screaming today. Fortunately, he has been smiley and happy and calm. And fortunately, I have that memory from yesterday of Josiah craddled in his dad’s arms to focus on should he start to scream again.