Today is my 1st official Self Care Saturday.  A day when I am free to do what I want, when I want for as long as I want.

Sounds selfish doesn’t it?

Quite honestly, it feels very selfish.

I had envisioned this day in my head.  It would start with a yummy breakfast, a pampering pedicure, hours lounging on the beach, favorite book in hand, cool beverage by my side, under the shade of a beach umbrella, not a care in the world.

It’s not going as planned.

After showering, I wiped down the walls with a squeegee and noticed some water spots.  Using some DIY orange scented vinegar solution, I sprayed the walls, scrubbed the shower floor some, let the solution sit for a few minutes, then came back to wipe the whole thing down.

I fought the urge to throw a load of laundry in and straighten up the kitchen. I instinctively started to make the bed, then stopped myself. If I was going to have a day full of self care, I needed to just go.

So, I did.

I stopped at a favorite breakfast burrito spot and suddenly discovered I had left my purse at home. Fortunately I had enough money in my pocket to cover my purchase.

I raced home, printed out some time sheets for the caregiver, ignoring the nagging feeling to just load some dishes in the dishwasher before I left.

At a nearby store, I picked up a pair of  sun glass readers (yes, I’m old) with the whole beach idea still swirling around in my head.  However, I hadn’t packed a thing for the beach and was actually heading in the opposite direction.

You want to know the truth?  If I’m not taking care of someone or something, I have no idea what to do with myself.

I never made it to the beach. There’s been no pedicure.

I’m sitting in the quiet room at the library with a tote bag full of papers to be completed, forms that need to be filled out and tons of work that needs to be done.  Pretty pitiful for self care huh?

I have no interest in doing any of this, so my mind wanders. Somehow, checking items off my ‘to do’ list does not feel much at all like self care.

But without someone to serve, I’m lost.

Here’s the thing. If I’m going to embrace the blessing, find joy along the journey, inspire and encourage others walking a similar path, it is critical to get a firm grasp on this whole self care thing. It’s my civic duty after all.

So while I may not be good at it yet, I am willing to learn. I am up for the challenge.  Practice makes perfect. I’m up for trying it all over again next Saturday.

You in?