Saturday, Rick and I had a few hours of respite.  A local church held an outreach in which they cared for children with disabilities so the parents could have a break. We knew no one at the church.  We knew nothing about the place.  We had no idea exactly what would take place. We signed up anyway.

Are you kidding me?  3-4 hours to do whatever we want is extremely rare.  We were all over that idea. We prepared Josiah as best we could.  We explained he was going to get to have fun and meet new people. He readily hopped into the van.  He was excited to go for a ride.

He happily hopped out when we arrived at the church, took our hands and walked in as if he’d done this a million times before. Then, he took a very quick glance at the place, spun around and bolted for the door. He signed FINISHED, just to be sure we got the message, as he was running towards the exit.

I was prepared. I whipped some beads out of my bag and dangled them in front of Josiah.  Reeled that boy right back in. We took a quick tour around the facility which was really very nice. They were well prepared with lots of different activities including an inflatable bouncy house. They had tubs filled with rice.  They had shaving cream to play with.  There was even a dark sensory room filled with cool light effects and glow in the dark bubbles. It was amazing.

Josiah didn’t like it. We followed him as he quickly found another exit and pushed the door open.  He led us to the back of the church where they had a fabulous outdoor play set. He discovered a bench swing and plopped down to play with his beads. Rick and I left him there, in very capable hands with the volunteer who had signed up to stay with Josiah.

What sweet, nice people we met there.  Every single person was very friendly, kind and caring.  We knew Josiah would be in good hands. Rick and I had a great time, alone, together for a few hours. When we picked Josiah up, he was very happy to see us.  He grabbed my hand and quickly walked to the door. They were telling us how well he did and trying to give Josiah a goody bag.  He just wanted to leave.

As soon as we got out the door, he grunted and then let out a little cry. I can only take that to mean he was making a very firm statement.  I didn’t like it.  Don’t do that to me again. Once in the van, he was perfectly fine. I’m guessing the grunting was because this was totally new for Josiah.  There was no familiarity to the evening for him.  Nothing was routine.

He likes structure.  He likes routine.  He thrives on knowing exactly what is going to happen and when. So, though Rick and I had a nice night out, was it at Josiah’s expense? Was having a break really worth it?  Josiah had no choice really.  He couldn’t tell us how he was feeling. He had signed FINISHED and tried to leave the place initially.  We didn’t accept that.  So, against his wishes, he had to stay.

Did we do our son an injustice? I wonder.

If it’s routine and structure Josiah needs, we just need to get that boy into programs like this on a more consistent basis. Then, he will know what to expect and be comfortable.  And, we will get a break more often.

I’m thinking every weekend would be great. : o )