There are moments of sheer joy. This is one of them.
Does Anybody Have a Map?
Does anybody have a map?
Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this?
I don’t know if you can tell
But this is me just pretending to know
So where’s the map?
I need a clue
‘Cause the scary truth is
I’m flying blind
And I’m making this up as I go
Those words are taken directly from the song Anybody Have A Map? – Lyrics | Dear Evan Hansen I heard them for the first time a couple of weeks ago and felt as if they had been written just for me.
I would give 10 years of my life for a map.
Just someone, somewhere a little further up the road who has been where we are right now waving enthusiastically, assuring me we are on the right path.
Better When I’m (car) Dancing
Today has been a bit rough. It typically goes this way. We have a week or a few days of calm and then like the flip of a switch, chaos reigns.
Josiah screamed off and on several times. Once again, not sure why.
When it thawed enough to venture out, we went for a ride. One thing Josiah has always enjoyed is going for a drive. He doesn’t always like to get out of the car when we arrive at our destination and sometimes it’s a struggle to get him in the house once we get home, but Josiah loves rides so much we take them frequently.
Our ‘beloved’ (I use that term loosely) van was in an accident and totaled 2 days after Christmas. Everyone involved was fine thankfully and we were blessed to be able to get another car just a few days ago.
Pushing the Limits
Last week, after being in the hospital for 3 days, Josiah had a great week. Not just a good week, but one for the books really. It was the first time in a long time he was happy and calm (for the most part), sweet and smiley.
He’s still wearing his big, bulky, probably-too-heavy helmet. The soft one with ear protection was unfortunately much too large. I sent it back and now Josiah LIVES in the Pro-tec skater helmet.
We’ve tried taking it off of him periodically. He resists. Josiah loves wearing a helmet. I’m not sure why. The upside is his ears are getting a break from incessant pummeling and have healed nicely. The downside is he’s started punching other parts of his body.
I’m relieved Josiah stopped punching his ears. Thankfully, they are safe. The rest of his unprotected body is not. A few different times this week, Josiah punched his thighs. The left one hard and often enough to cause a red welt.
You’d think I’d know better than to push my luck, but ever the optimist, I decided to take full advantage of the ‘improved’ behavior and take Josiah to the movies.
Helmets Galore!
Josiah was discharged from the hospital today. He was frantic and in apparent agony as we raced him to the ER in the wee hours of the morning Friday. Tuesday he began struggling with incontinence (unusual for him), increased thirst, heightened aggression and self injurious behaviors, incessant screaming to the point of making himself hoarse and a bloody left ear from too many punches.
Earlier in the week as things began spiraling downward, I quickly ordered 2 different helmets for him from Amazon. One is a skaters helmet, heavy and cumbersome, completely padded inside with great ear protection, clearly not meant for the purpose for which I purchased it.
