Josiah was up very early this morning. Much earlier than usual. Much earlier than necessary. I tried to ignore him. I hoped he was just out in the hallway near his bedroom door, half awake. I prayed he would fall back to sleep for a few more hours. Sometimes he does.

Not today. This morning he was wide awake and ready to start his happy day, well before anyone else was. I quickly scooped him up and plopped down next to him on the recliner. I wrapped a fleece blanket around the two of us and imagined we’d drift off, cuddling together for at least another hour. Josiah had his own plan.

He was not tired anymore. He should have been. He didn’t fall asleep til close to 11 the night before. I was tired. Everyone else was sleeping. I didn’t want to wake anyone, but needed something for us to do until the sun came up. I turned on the T.V. and put the volume on the lowest setting.

Josiah does not like T.V. He never watches it. There have been times when he has walked up and turned it right off. Funny thing is he will sit next to me or on my lap if I happen to be watching T.V. content to sit and do nothing.

So, Josiah and I watched Uncle Jesse not show up for his wedding to Aunt Becky on Full House. Mindless material, intended to lull us both back to sleep, I had hoped. It didn’t. We watched the whole thing. We saw Aunt Becky leave the church to get to the jail to spring her fiance from behind bars. Rather, I watched. Josiah just snuggled next to me.

3 hours later Josiah was dressed, ready and waiting for his school bus. Not a wink of sleep since well before 5 am for that boy. Or for me. He saw the bus pull up and screamed. Josiah apparently was not interested in getting on the bus today. Rick hoisted him up deposited him into his seat anyway.

10 minutes later the phone rang. Josiah screamed all the way off the bus. He screamed all the way down the hall at school. He got in the classroom, picked up a chair and hurled it across the room. He repeatedly punched himself in the head. Josiah’s teacher was concerned something was terribly wrong. She figured he was in some sort of pain. She had never seen him behave so wildly. I picked him up a few minutes later and brought him back home.

Josiah’s teacher was right. Something was wrong. Josiah was tired. He just didn’t know how to tell us. He tried when the bus pulled up infront of our house. He screamed. He tried when the bus deposited him at school. He screamed all the way down the hall. He tried when he got in the classroom. He hurled a chair across the room.

Josiah fell asleep very quickly after being back in our house. He curled up on the same recliner he and I had sat in during the wee hours of the morning. I was not sitting next to him. The T.V. was not on. The room was no longer dark. Sunlight poured in through the windows. The world was wide awake and ready to start it’s happy day. Not Josiah.

No more than 10 minutes after being back home, Josiah crawled up in the recliner and snored peacefully. He slept for hours.

If he wakes up during the night tonight, I think I will just pretend I don’t hear him.