Sometimes I wonder if Josiah will ever have any friends. Children with severe challenges rarely do.  Josiah is non-verbal, he doesn’t talk to the kids in his class,  I’m not really sure they talk to him.

When he was a baby, we were in a playgroup for families of children with disabilities, mostly for the adult interaction. The little ones were too young to form any type of friendship.

To this day, our older girls remain friends with some of their former playgroup buddies from nearly 20 years ago.  It won’t ever be that way for Josiah.  I think his only lasting friendships may be with his siblings.  I’m not all too sure that will ever happen. 

To have a relationship with Josiah requires a degree of selflessness children often times don’t possess. I see Josiah through the eyes of a caring, devoted mother.  My love for him is infinite.  I can’t imagine life without him.  Hard as life is with him sometimes, I am so grateful to call him my son, so blessed to be his mother.  But, I have to step back occasionally and try to see him from the prospective of his siblings.

It must be so frustrating for them.  He demands so much.  He gives almost nothing back. His self help skills are very limited.  His aggressive behaviors and loud vocalizations make public outings down right embarrassing.  He needs round the clock one-on-one attention which means either mom or dad must always be with Josiah, leaving his siblings to fend for themselves many times.  He knocks things over, throws things down, climbs on, over and under things that shouldn’t be climbed on at all,  doesn’t pick up after himself, doesn’t help with chores, doesn’t take care of any of his own needs, grabs hair, screams loudly and has quite a few tics such as making pig like snorts and punching himself in the head or on the chin many times throughout the day.

He is not potty trained yet and has left puddles on the floor in the check out line at Wal-Mart.  He has hurled dozens of eggs and gallons of milk out of shopping carts, contents crashing and spilling everywhere.  He has grabbed unknowing passersby and smacked them in the arm. 

He has no social skills.  

A relationship with Josiah requires you to look past all of that.  It requires you to help him when he needs it, even when you don’t want to.  It requires you to give up your own desires, to meet his.  It requires ignoring the glares and stares of curious bystanders.  It requires a maturity that hopefully comes with age.

Josiah may never have many friends.

Chandler however, will always be Josiah’s friend.  She has a bond with him that melts my heart.  She adores Josiah and he adores her.  Chandler was just 19 months old when Josiah was born.  She really only knows life with Josiah in it.  She doesn’t remember the days of relative peace and tranquility prior to his birth.  She embraces her brother.  She enjoys spending time with him.  He lights up when she’s around. 

When I need a few moments to get something done, I can usually count on Chandler to help out with Josiah.  Though he is only 10 lbs lighter than she is, Chandler loves to give him piggy back rides.  If she happens to sit down on the floor or even bend down for any reason when Josiah is near, he will hop up onto her back, thinking she is ready to escort him around the house. 

I love how she accepts him. 

When the birthday party invitations don’t come and the play dates don’t happen, when the friendships don’t develop for Josiah like they do for most kids his age, I know deep in my heart he will always have one special friend. 

Maybe that is enough.