We may just end up as hermits, Rick, Josiah and I. The other kids will eventually all grow up, move out and move on. Josiah however will be with us as long as we can take care of him. I imagine we will become more and more secluded as he gets older. As we get older. Here’s why. Josiah is loud. Josiah likes to scream. I don’t like loud, especially in public. It’s embarrassing. It’s frustrating. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make him stop. It’s easier to stay home.

We are already doing the tag team parenting with Josiah. One of us usually always stays home with him while the other one ventures out. I imagine it will eventually turn into both of us just staying home with Josiah.

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Josiah cried quite a bit yesterday. I’m not really sure why. His teacher texted me after school to tell me he cried hard for about 30 minutes in class. He walked off the bus at the end of the day alright. He was very happy to see me. But, he did NOT want to walk up the sidewalk to come into the house. He plopped down on the ground right out on the side walk and cried. He cried for a while in the house as well.

His cry was a hurt cry. I knew something was making him uncomforable. I just didn’t know what. And since he doesn’t talk, he wasn’t telling me. So, I had to guess. I took off his shoes. I took off his orthotics. I took off his socks. I rubbed his feet. He still cried.

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I’ve always known a strict schedule is imperative for helping Josiah feel calm and secure. He had one when he was at the residential treatment center. They saw far fewer challenging behaviors from him there than we do with him at home. I firmly believe it’s because Josiah always knew what his day would be like while living there. He always knew what was coming next. There were no surprises. No curveballs. No reason to feel unsettled. The routine was always the same.

I like structure. I like routine. I like knowing what’s next. Its just that I get bored easily. I also like adventure and change. I like to be spontaneous and impulsive.

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I wonder if we will ever get past this phase of Tag Team parenting. Lately, it has become the only way we get through anything with Josiah. Except for Church. God bless the wonderful REACH volunteers at our church. They have a heart for special needs children. Volunteers watch children with disabilities so parents can attend church. Every Sunday, Rick and I know we will be able to worship together. Josiah is well cared for in his own service while we go to ours.

We used to have to go separately. Rick would go to one service and I would stay home with Josiah. Then I would meet Rick halfway and drop Josiah off to him. They would go home. I would go to church with the other kids. We were never able to go to church together as a family. Not until now. What a blessing.

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I’ve decided Rick will need to take Josiah to his Dr. appointments from now on.  I made that decision today, after taking Josiah to see his pediatrician. It was not a fun visit.

Josiah is small for his age. His current weight is just 53 pounds. But his strength defies his size. Josiah is very, very strong. I notice it mostly when I’m helping him through situations he would much rather avoid.

Fortunately, Josiah held my hand and walked in the Drs. office today with ease. He even sat quite nicely in the waiting room. That hasn’t always been the case. I remember recent visits when Josiah refused to walk through the door into the waiting area. He just plopped himself down on the sidewalk out front and screamed. Today was much easier. Until they called his name.

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